What I learned about parenting from the Amish

Since moving to the country, we've been blessed with Amish neighbours who have become good friends. Martha and Isaac live just down the road from us with two adult sons and an adult daughter. A younger son lives next door. And they had a lot of children.

Martha and Isaac are Old Order Amish. This means no hydro, no cell phones, and no car. (Well, no hydro until they're son - no longer Amish - had it installed while they were gone for a year. But they don't ue it.)

We've spent a fair bit of time with Martha and Isaac and their family, as well and driving them around and meeting their grown children and grandchildren. I knew there was a difference in how they regard children, but it took me a couple of years to begin to appreciate what those differences are - and why it matters in the work I do with parents.

All the Amish I've met have these things in common: they're cheerful, industrious, charitable, good natured, kind hearted, generous, helpful, resourceful, self-sufficient, honest, forthright, and fair. They're devout, but respect others' beliefs. And they are loathe to be beholden to anyone for anything.

(It may be that all Amish are like this. Or it may be that we were just lucky!)

It took a while to negotiate a barter system with them. They were quite insistent on paying for our gas and time if we drove them anywhere. We finally convinced them that we believe that's what neighbours do, and that if we needed their help, we'd ask.

Over time, quite a bond has formed between us, and I see them more as family now than neighbours. We pick up groceries for them when we're in town and Isaac brings his team of horses over and ploughs the drive after it snows. We drive them to visit family and Martha and her daughter Ruth come over to help weed our vegetable garden. We visit each other, break bread together, share stories, and laugh together.

Over the next few posts, I'll share what I've learned from them about parenting. There's a practical, down-to-earth wisdom in all they do, and parenting is no exception!