The best time to give your opinion

Here's what I learned from my son Andrew about a year ago. Two of his friends were about to get into a messy (but not illegal) situation, and I asked him what he thought about it.

Shrug. "I think they're making a big mistake."

"Have you told them that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"They haven't asked. If they wanted my opinion, they'd ask for it."

I was dumbfounded.

Have you ever had the experience of trying to have a friendly conversation with your teen, only to have him storm off angry and frustrated? And does it happen right after you offer your opinion?

In a fragile or strained relationship,
your opinion isn't the one that matters!

A dialogue doesn't have to be a two-way street. Sometimes it's just one person talking and one person listening.

If you want your teen to talk to you, you have to be willing to listen. Listening means giving your teen your undivided attention, the same as you would with a friend. It's not just a matter of being polite; it's a matter of being sincere - and sincerely interested.

That means not correcting her, arguing with her or setting her straight - even when she's wrong.

The best time to give your opinion?

When your teen asks for it!