What Teens Need to Know

• This, too, shall pass.

• The only thing more valuable than your reputation and good name is a clear conscience.

• There’s nothing wrong with you. Whatever you’re going through is normal for you.

• Those random thoughts that scare you, that cause you to wonder, “Oh, no! Who am I that I can think those things?!” – that’s normal, too. They just show up, and they don’t have anything to do with who you are. We all have those thoughts. It’s just that no one talks about them. Too bad…

• It’s not about what you think. It’s about what you do with what you think.

• You don’t have to believe everything you think.

• Blaming your parents for how you turn out won’t give you a better life. Deal with it, and determine to raise yourself to be the kind of person you want to be.

• No one is entitled to anything. Deal with that, too. That way you can move on to create the life you want without expecting anything from anyone but you!

• Criticizing, blaming and complaining will never get you what you want. They’ll only damage your relationships and make you unhappy.

• Self-esteem doesn’t come from others thinking well of you or telling you how great you are. It comes from doing the best you can, always improving, demonstrating competence, and respecting yourself and others.

• It’s not your parents’ (or anyone else’s) job to make you happy or give you everything you want. That’s your job.

• No amount of “stuff” can bring you peace or happiness for more than five minutes. Nothing outside of you can do that for you. Only who you are and what you do can do that for you.

• Maturity comes from knowing the only person’s behaviour you can control is your own – and then controlling it!

• Those strong, overwhelming, overpowering emotions like anger, sadness and rage – you can control them! It starts by knowing you can feel them and not have to do anything with them.

• Just because someone says you’re their best friend doesn’t mean you have to be their best friend. If being with them doesn’t feel good, consider why you’re spending time with them.

• Work (at home or at a job) helps you in four ways:
• It allows you to give back.
• It gives you a way to contribute to something bigger than yourself.
• It gives you an opportunity to become competent at skills that you’ll need in years to come.
• It fosters independence.

• A friend isn’t just somebody you hang out with. A friend is someone who has your best interests at heart. A true friend will never ask you to compromise your principles – e.g., lie, steal, cheat – even to get them out of trouble.

• You’ll know if someone loves you, not by what they say, but by how they treat you.

• Moving into adulthood can be confusing and difficult at times. You’re re-evaluating who you are and what you stand for – and that’s real work. Oh – and it doesn’t end when you get older!

• Your own approval is the only one that matters.

• Notice what you have, not what you don’t have. Appreciate it! Be grateful! Notice how it feels.

• You’ll know you’re on your right path by how you feel.

• Drugs and alcohol, violence and depression can momentarily ease your frustration and pain – but they can’t bring you peace or give you what you really want. They can only wreck you.

• What’s ruining your life? You believe everything you think. You believe you have to be right. And you don’t even know what you want any more or how to get it. If you work on those, you’ll stop wrecking yourself.

• Don’t blame your behaviour on others’ behaviour.

• You don’t get to decide how others treat you – only how you treat them. So treat them the way you want to be treated – not the way they treat you. Somebody has to end the war and be a decent human being, and it might as well be you.

• Your happiness depends on how you treat others – not on how they treat you.

• Here’s how you get respect: 1) Respect yourself. 2) Respect others. There’s no other way!

• Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. This is how you learn. Give yourself permission to make mistakes!

• You’ll know you’ve taken responsibility for your life when you can trust yourself to make good choices without the threat of punishment or promise of reward.

• An apology is more than just feeling guilty or saying, “I’m sorry.” It’s saying: “I did it. I’m sorry I did it. What can I do to make it right?” And then doing it.

• Guilt is how we choose to feel when we’re not prepared (or don’t know how) to do the right thing.

• Some things can never be fixed – like physical injury or death. When it’s too late, it’s too late, and we can’t always go back and fix it. Some mistakes we just have to learn from and get on with our lives anyway. So be mindful of doing what you (or someone else) may live to regret.

• There are things you can control and things you can’t control. You can control what you do – but you can’t control the outcome.

• Never give up! It gets better! You can’t imagine how much better it gets if you let it. It all works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end.