Your responsibility to yourself

At the end of the last post, I asked you a "trick" question: Do you and others have a right to get your needs met?

If you answered yes, you're right - but only half right. Read on...

So what's a need? According to Choice Theory, there are five basic needs:

• Survival
• Love & belonging
• Power (respect)
• Freedom
• Learning

(For a short and easy-to-read description of needs, you can download the free booklet Who's Driving YOUR Car? from www.lifewhisperers.ca. This will also teach you how to find out what your own unique needs profile is. Go ahead and figure out your teen's profile while you're at it! This'll come in handy in a later post.)

Responsibility has two parts:

• doing those things that meet your needs, and
• not preventing anyone else from doing those things that meet their needs.

According to this definition, doing those things that meet your needs isn't a right, it's a responsibility! Same for your son or daughter.

So why do we have a responsibility to get our needs met? Because everything we do - and everything everybody else does - is our best attempt to satisfy our needs. That's what drives our behaviour. And the more successful we are, the happier we are.

So what are your responsibilities to yourself? How about these: I have a responsibility to decide--

• When I'll stay home, when I'll go out, and where I'll go.
• When I'll entertain and who I'll invite into my home.
• Who I'll associate with.
  
• How I'll spend my time (whether anyone else thinks it's "important" or not).
  
• What perks I'll provide - TV, computer, internet access, drives, etc.
  
• What kind of food I'll buy.
• What and when I'll prepare meals.
  
• How I'll spend my money.
  

How else do you take responsibility for yourself? Let's hear what you have to say!

In the next post, I'll challenge you to think differently about your responsibility for your teen!